just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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