Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
