dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
