these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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