when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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