So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I could make wine with my vomit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
