Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
