Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
