'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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