i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
