you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
