super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
