That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
