Yo dont text me then not text me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
