i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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