I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
