Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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