Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
