I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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