is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I currently don't understand fingers.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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