chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize