I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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