and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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