He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
