eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize