Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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