Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
