3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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