Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
