You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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