that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
