there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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