Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
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After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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