Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
COCAINE IS GR8
I am mentally ready for anal.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
