Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
