I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had to cum in my sink.
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