ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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