I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
