my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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