I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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