So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
