I heard we made out
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
