yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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