You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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