Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
