it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
