Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
