i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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