Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
