Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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