Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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