I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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