So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
