I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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