My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
