I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
