STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
