Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
