No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
