I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
we're so committed to being not committed
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