She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize