Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
