I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
