You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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