I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
